The official "Farmerk Quits Smoking For Reals" thread


<img title="Paladin Lord" src=" />
Staff member
The most geometrically satisfying breakfast, hands down. Unless you happen to find yourself in the mood for circles. Being an indecisive man myself, I usually wind up ordering the sampler whenever I find myself at the International House of Shapes.
I prefer spectral auras over shapes myself.


I found a new friend. And he's german too.

It's kinda like a cross between a doughnut, a mounds bar, and a crunch bar. Can someone explain to me what's german about this?

Also also, it looks more like the result of a horrifying german porn than a german chocolate treat.


<img title="Paladin" src=" />
Staff member
This is as German as cheeseburgers. And they wouldn't be individually wrapped here.
A week after I turned eighteen I bought my first pack of cigarettes, marlboro reds. I thought I was so cool, flashing my ID and getting access to the forbidden adult goodies. I went to my apartment and sat in the bathtub with the vent going and smoked less than 1/4th of it before feeling sick. I flushed the cig and laid there in the tub for two hours feeling sicker than I ever felt before. I got up, went to my computer, and watched Dr No. Sean connery, smoking it up and kicking ass while getting the chicks... I smoked a whole cigarette this time. Then another. And then two more. It was the greatest feeling of my childhood. I went to sleep feeling the hairs on my chest growing out of control and my balls bursting out of my pants.

The next morning I woke up and the first thing on my mind was smoking. I thought it was just excitement. Turns out it was the same thing I'd feel for the next fifteen hundred mornings. It was addiction, just twelve hours after my first drag.

Two days later I bought another pack of cigs, this time Pall Malls. Not as easy on the drag as marlboros but they last nearly twice as long. One down side to them was that they had some kind of oil imbued into the tobacco to make it burn slower, and that oil would always accumulate in my lungs and get coughed up at inopportune moments, like dirt and ash and shit flavored mucous wads. Not fun.

Hell, looks like I got side tracked. Seven hours from now I am celebrating the end of my first smoke free month since I was 17. To celebrate I have a box of cheezits and a bag of fun sized twix bars. I'll be going to bed at a reasonable time and getting up early to jog before having a healthy breakfast and going to work.

What the fuck? How did I get to this? Just five weeks ago I was a heavy drinking party dude who would sleep twice a week. Now I don't smoke, I don't drink, video games don't hold my attention, I rarely go without eight hours of sleep a night, and I'm always up at four in the morning. I'm in the "life is borning without smokes" phase of the quitting process. Three days of pain, three weeks of depression, now three months of major boring shit while I try to figure out what to do with myself for the next sixty years. I'm not craving tobacco right now, but I know that if I start smoking again then life won't seem so pointless and boring. But then all this will be for nothing and my transformation into rambo-eater will be halted. Rambo eating wins, no contest
As of this moment, I have been one month free of nicotine.

Fuck yeah.

EDIT: For some reason I can't sleep. This is what I ended up doing to celebrate:



<img title="Paladin Queen" src="" />
Staff member

Rambo eating will be good for you, you'll see!
a custome lothsome to the eye, hatefull to the Nose, harmefull to the braine, dangerous to the Lungs, and in the blacke stinking fume thereof, neerest resembling the horrible Stygian smoke of the pit that is bottomelesse


<img title="Paladin Lord" src=" />
Staff member
Ye General of the Surgeonry's Warning?